Failure???

Well I have failed......or have I? 
In respect to the goals I set for my weight I have not achieved any bar the first ever "dream" weight I set myself.  I fell below 72kgs and lost 20+kgs since I began but still am not within a healthy BMI.  But do I care....NO!  I am happy and at peace with my current weight.  It varies, it goes up, it comes back down but I am hovering and right now I am exercising when I choose and eating whatever I feel like and it is an awesome feeling to know I can do this without agonising over everything and that my decisions are smart enough to keep my weight even.  I know what my body needs by listening to my body and it is fabulous! 
There was however one goal I set myself that I remember thinking there was no way in hell I would ever complete - a half marathon, 21 bloody kms!!! Absolute madness!  I have always loved to run and was a brilliant short distance runner at school but put me in a long distance event and I always screwed myself up with wrong pace and therefore dodgy breathing.  And yet with that said I still loved to do it.  But for me following a set routine just worked out to be too demanding and so my training schedule soon fell by the wayside and I worked in what I could to fit in with my days with Bryce.  I hinted in my last blog about coming changes and one of these was imminent and in my heart of hearts I knew I would use that as my excuse as to why I never did it.  So on a Wednesday night I messaged my running partner to see what she was up to that weekend and asked her if she felt up for banging out an easy 21km...haha, simple hey?  I thought she'd tell me I was nuts and I'd have to resort to doing it on my own, little did I know she was even nuttier than I and had just completed 16km on her own that day!  She was in. 
So Sunday morning with stuff all training on my part for the fortnight prior we set off and two quick toilet stops and 2 1/2 hours later we had completed our half marathon!  I had done it.  No crowd, no fancy event, I didn't need it.  Knowing I could was why I had done it and finishing was all I needed.  And even better I got to do it alongside my running buddy Bree, someone I've met through 12wbt but that I know is now a lifelong friend.
There were many reasons I got off my arse and just did the run.  The most important being the death of my grandfather a fortnight before.  I can't say alot about it as I still really struggle to find words, but he passed away on a Tuesday we buried him the following Tuesday and it was the day after that I knew I had to run it, I knew I had to show him exactly what the granddaughter he loved was made of.  The night he died we grabbed an iced coffee on the way home as we hadn't had any dinner and the day after feeling miserable and tired my husband and I went to get takeout for our dinner until I got mad.  If I could have stood in front of myself I think I would have knocked myself out I was so angry, I was livid that I had even contemplated using my grandpa 's passing as an excuse to give in.  So instead we got changed and we took our son and our dog out for an 8km run and I cried and ran and thought the whole way I am making him proud, this is what life is for. 
Even in writing this it is helping me to understand further why I ran.  I needed to show him I am not a quitter.  If I set a goal I achieve it.  And that is why within a fortnight of him passing I ran my goal and at no point did I consider quitting.  I honestly didn't know if I could do it or not but at the end of the day stopping was never an option.  My weight goals have changed but had I not done this run then I would have failed.
For the rest of the Sunday I was excited but come Monday I was wondering what now......until Tuesday when I found out I was pregnant!  So now I get to tell everyone half of the mindset issues I have had this round.  We had been planning on trying for a baby come September this year and then after I had lost so much during round 2 I decided to put off bub till next year, however it didn't take long till I decided I didn't really want to wait.  I knew how much effort I have had to put in to get to where I am now and as much as I wanted to see myself at my trimmest and fittest I was concerned at having to "redo" all the work after the baby had come.  So we decided that as I was feeling content where I was now we would do the baby thing and then later I would be able to review where I was at and if I wanted to get lighter or just tone what I had.  Basically this was a way of giving me time to sit with the new me to work out where I really wanted to be.

So now my new goal is to maintain my weight and health whilst nurturing this new little life growing inside.  My beautiful friends in the Perth Crew have asked me to do a photographic journey as my pregnancy progresses and I have embraced this as a way to keep me honest and accountable.  And I also plan on capturing it here too, if I can get myself organised to write a little more regularly, but here is the first pic of me taken today at 5 weeks 3 days.

So for me the greatest thing this round has brought me is flexibility.  I now understand that goals can change and that is completely OK.  This program is fabulous but it has to be able to evolve.  If you can't work it in to your life then you really have no hope when a round ends or when you reach your goals.  At some point you have to take the leap and head off on your own.  I guess Michelle says it all the time, 12wbt is a family and now I get the underlying meaning.  We are her children and like all parents she is teaching us the skills we need to succeed.  But at some point we all have to spread our own wings and take flight on our own.  This round has seen me do that and I am happy to say I have not gone back!  It took me a month last year to put on the 12kg I had lost following the Crunchtime plans.  This time something has stuck and 3 months later I have managed to lose another 5kg with little real effort at all.  That makes me confident as to what is to come, confident that my life has now changed for the better!

And then comes CLARITY

I now feel safe to write this blog as the last two weeks finally saw me with two losses of 1.2kg!  I started the round in the same style as the last however after the first fortnight it all went to shit.  I realise now that my 3 week standstill hasn’t been a total waste as I have had to do much soul searching and become even more honest with myself than I had been before, something I actually thought had already happened, apparently not.  Finally my Type A “All or Nothing” Personality was trying to undo me.

So what happened?  Week 3 saw me with a gain, the first I had to enter onto the 12wbt website.  I was gutted to say the least and was a big emotional miserable mess for the entire day.  All that was going through my mind was what if Michelle happened to look at my stats that very week?  It wouldn’t reflect all the hard work I have been putting in since May and just how much I have achieved on the program.  If it had been a deserved gain then that would have been one thing however I had eaten clean and trained hard for the whole week.  I knew I hadn’t done enough for a huge loss, however a gain - really??  Fortunately for me that changed the very next day and it appeared a number of things were messing with me, I had a bad cold and some suggested that may have contributed to the dodgy weigh in but then I also had TTOTM rock up that very night, two weeks early!  So with the scales showing a loss the very next day I should have been back on track, right??  Oh I wish!

The next fortnight saw me still planning my weeks meals, shopping for them and even following them however I was snacking far too much.  I had some slices in the fridge I had made as part of an event I had to contribute too and I found myself “sneaking” them in.  It got to the point where I was actually running to the fridge to scoff one or two while my husband was out of the room.  Suddenly I had this horrible binge mentality, I couldn’t let him see me “failing” and yet I needed to get in as much as I could so I didn’t miss out later.

Now what is with that?  I mean seriously I am an adult I have money I can “spoil” myself whenever I want to and yet this stupid mentality I have from my childhood keeps biting me on the arse! As kids we rarely had any junk food, purely because we couldn’t afford it and so when those sorts of foods were available it became a big gorge fest, get as much as possible in before it’s gone.  Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy…..happy, happy, happy!  Only this time when I did it I wasn’t feeling happy, the sugar instantly gave me a headache, my stomach was gurgling and growling at me all day and mentally I was feeling so confused that I was allowing myself to keep doing such a weak act.  I knew better!  And so I stopped.  I got out my sticky tape and some paper and thick black texta and fixed the problem once and for all………

So this helped with the food demons biting me in the arse at home now I had to work out why it was I was letting them bite me.  Time to sit down and do some serious soul searching and find out what was really going on.

The first thing I realised was that I was still hanging out for “the end”.  I couldn’t wait to get to goal so I could relax.  I was constantly trying to eat perfectly and exercising like a demon.  I couldn’t wait to get to goal so I could allow myself some indulgences and scale back the exercise a bit.  My son is only 2 and the majority of my exercise is done with him and so that can also be quite challenging and tiring in itself.  If the weather is poor I am stuck working out at home and getting through a workout uninterrupted just does not happen so a lot of the days it isn’t only the push to get going it’s also knowing I am basically going into battle with him just to get my 500 calories done.  This round I was trying to plan my exercise and follow the Lean & Fit program to the letter aswell as adding in training for the Half Marathon.  Last round the only plan I had was to move, I rarely prepared what I was going to do but instead just knew each day I had to do something to burn my 500 and then depending on the weather and the mood my son was in I did whatever I had to do, it was easier as a Mum for me not to plan!  The flexibility enabled me to work better and get it done with less stress.

The second realisation I came to was that I was already in love with how I felt and looked!  What the……????  Me, happy with my appearance??  This has NEVER been the case for me and so it’s no wonder my attitude was becoming lax.  I was getting compliments, I was also getting people telling me I could stop now and I was actually getting dressed each day and feeling frigging awesome with what I was seeing.  I can now see all the hard work I have put in and yes you know what….I could stop if I wanted and look “NORMAL”!!!!  I can stand by even the skinniest person and still not see myself as the fat one.    So how low do I need to go to be happy?

This led me to my third AHA moment.  I was fixated on my goal as a figure.  We set a goal weight and for those of us who have been overweight for such a long time how do we come up with it?  I don’t know what I am going to look like at that weight, the last time I was that low was in my early teens…I am now a grown woman and my body physically has matured in so many ways since then is it even possible to get that low.  Our boobs disappear, our hips go….so what is the right weight to decide on??  My own doctor has already told me I am at a healthy maintainable weight for my age and height…hmmmmm????  A couple of months ago I bought a fitness magazine and it’s safe to say I was disappointed in what I saw.  Yeah the women in it had awesome bodies but I think it would be safe to say the majority if not all also had awesome fake knockers to go with them.  So for me I worked out that I want to find that happy medium, I want to be fit and healthy but I still want to be “real”, for me I still want to have some squishy lady bits to go with a perky butt and flat belly.

And lastly my goal weight was bugging me.  Not knowing what I was going to look like at the weight I had chosen I was concerned with thoughts of going too low, not going low enough.  As I was getting nearer I was actually wanting to raise my goal weight (refer to previous paragraph for some of the reason) but then I didn’t want people to see me as a friend recently put it – a quitter!  And then deciding what to change it too…how do I do that????

So what is my answer?   A few things have changed recently for me that mean my future is a little undecided and will be for maybe the next 12 months or so, lots of changes to come and having to wait on other people to steer those changes.   Initially I upped my goal weight from 62kg to 65kg but even that still isn’t sitting right.  So as of this week  I don’t have a goal weight or even a goal BMI as such.  Instead I am finding balance now.  This  morning after weigh in I am 1.1kg off being inside the healthy BMI range for my height and that is my first goal.  From there I want to be 2kg inside that and reach 68kg by end of round as I figure that gives me room for the normal fluctuations without popping back into overweight territory.  Once I have hit that target I will be scaling back my exercise if and when I need to.  Most days I want to exercise and I feel jittery if I haven’t moved so I am confident that I will do what is necessary for me to maintain.  I just also know that there are days where I don’t feel like fighting with my boy cos he is in a terror of a mood and those are the days that I might just go for a half hour walk with him, hubby and the dog instead of slogging out a hard workout.  Exercise has already become my life again and I won’t lose that for a second time.

I’m also not going to be so hard and fast on my food.  I don’t want to be the person hiding from people she loves the secret binging sessions.  If I choose as an adult to allow myself to indulge in something I will do so and do so proudly knowing that the rest of my week has been clean and that I am training enough to know the extra calories I am allowing into my system will soon be gone.  I love my fun runs and will continue to enjoy them and as I said to my friend I know that I am not a quitter, in the past two weeks I have run two 10km fun runs and for the first knocked off 5 minutes from my previous PB and then a further 2 minutes this weekend, a quitter wouldn’t or couldn’t do that!  This is now my life and I will still be continuing with everything I have learnt I am just choosing that healthy is enough for me.  Suddenly all the advice I have been given is making sense and the numbers just aren’t as important as they used to be.   The friendships I have made, the memories and the new way of “being” that my family has is all that is important 

I have realised finally with total clarity that this is how I want to see out the rest of my existence here on this planet.  There is no end and therefore there is no need for me to sit here and randomly select a weight for me to achieve.  I am doing this for me because I, want to be healthy and here for a very long time to come.  I want to set my children up with skills that they can take into their adult life so that they hopefully never have to face the battles I have nor waste the years I have lacking in confidence and being overweight.   For me it is enough to be in a healthy BMI, and the rest of that will even out as time goes on.  If I consciously choose to wake up each day and live this life the way I have for the past 6 months then my body is going to show me what my goal weight is.  And finally I feel at peace and at ease with where I am headed.  Thankyou Michelle Bridges for giving me this beautiful life, there is no way I can ever  truly show you my gratitude.

MrsHinchie XXXXX

 PERTH CREW

MARGARET RIVER FUN RUN 2011

100g GAIN...and a bunch of know it alls!

Wow what a week!!  This week I have registered my first gain whilst in a round, during the time between round 2 & 3 I had gains and losses but basically managed to maintain, however this week I had to record a higher weight on the 12wbt website for the first time.  I was gutted.  I mean what if Michelle Bridges randomly decided to check out my stats that week and saw a gain, does that really reflect all the work I had put in?  I really am not sure exactly why it happened as I have eaten clean and exercised but nonetheless the scales went up.  So Wednesday for me ended up being an extremely emotional day, not only was I sick and had a 2 year old who was also grumpy and sounding like he too was getting sick, but my usual buddies, the scales, had let me down!  And so I called in an early rest day.  I physically had no energy and took the unexplained gain as a sign my body was shouting at me to give it a break, one day turned into two as I finally listened to what it was saying and gave it a chance to recover.  Come Friday I felt the old itch to get off my butt and get back to training and went out for a slow 6.5km run with Bree, by the end I felt pretty good.
I don't know if it's the universe just trying to test me or what but the scales giving me a kick weren't the only hurdle for me this week.  Literally every day I have had people deciding that I need to hear their opinion on how much more weight I should lose - or more correctly I should say shouldn't lose.  I can't pinpoint exactly why it makes me so angry but I'm at the point now where I feel as though my next response isn't going to be polite at all.  I think it boils down to being irritated that anyone can feel that they can "advise" me on what I should be doing with my body.  So far I politely explain that I have not even reached what is considered to be a healthy weight for my height but perhaps next time I should just as politely asked them where they obtained their medical degree from?  Oh you don't have one....health degree....nutrition......what no degree???  Ok, well how bout you come back and see me when you are adequately qualified or educated to know better than I do what is right for my body!
I wonder do people get scared that you suddenly have an eating disorder because you get healthy?  I am sure had they never met me before and were just seeing me at the beach in my swimmers for the first time, if asked the question I guarantee they would more than likely answer that I could indeed stand to lose more weight.  I am not stupid enough to believe I am fat anymore, I catch my reflection in windows, I know what size my clothing is.  Yes my brain is still catching up and I am still adjusting to looking like a healthier weight person but I do know there is still some work to be done, I am alot closer than where I was but I sure as hell am not stopping now.  The definition is starting to really creep through and I cannot wait to see what my body can do.  I am loving my running and loving the freedom it affords me.
I have been called obsessed but you know what I love being obsessed.  I would rather be called that for running my heart out and actually doing something for myself than sitting back and being envious of the ones that are doing it like I used to be.  I was the fat girl, I am no longer, and if you don't like it you can eat my dust!!!

12WBT Bloggers Challenge

So everything is always better if you can have fun while your doing it so I've decided to join in on Shrinking Kaths Blogger's Challenge......

1. Describe yourself in 25 words or less. You can get straight to the point - or bring your creativity into play. Determined, a little bit crazy but what you see is what you get.

2. What brings you to 12wbt? Getting fitter? Losing weight? (Gaining weight??) Are you first timer, a repeat offender?? It began just to lose weight but this is my second round now and I am back not only to get to goal but to continue the amazing change that is expanding into my whole life, the program is so much more than fitness and diet!

3. Why do you blog??  I have only just started but I used to love writing when younger and there are always stories in my head, blogging is easier timewise than writing in a journal and if by putting my crazy brain into words it helps someone else make sense of their own mad journey then I will be a happy girl.

4. Who is your biggest inspiration in life and why (doesn't have to be weight loss)  Myself...yes that may sound bigheaded but each time I achieve something new it strengthens me to push myself further, nobody can want anything for you nor do the work for you....if I don't inspire myself then nobody else can.

5. What things in life bring you the most joy?  My husband, my son and being in beautiful surroundings.  We often spend weekends just driving and hanging out in the country.  I don't aspire to wealth or immense fortunes, one day I'd love to live in a cottage on a hill in the middle of nowhere.

6.What do you think your greatest challenge is going to be this round?  Getting to goal.

7. What are you most excited about 12wbt? Finale party!!!!

8. And what scares the pants off you?  The workout :-)  Can't look bad in front of Mish!  Seriously though I am stressing about working out in the heat of the day, I hate getting too hot and plan all my workouts accordingly.

9. Tell me - right now - today - how do you feel about exercise in no more than 10 words Thanks god it's my rest day!

10. Complete this sentence - in 12 weeks time - on the last day of 12wbt I am going to be feeling immensely proud of myself!

Lightbulbs and all things bright....

I have been waiting patiently till Bryce went down for his nap just so I could write this blog.  Amongst the 12WBT members that phrase "lightbulb moment" is bandied about so much and sure I have had some realisations along the way but really wondered if I could actually call  them lightbulb moments.  I mean is it a lightbulb moment if you still struggle a few days later to find your way again.  Today I believe I know the answer and have not had a lightbulb moment because it finally came this morning in the middle of my run.
This week for me has been particularly hard with alot of emotional stress and drama from extended family that to put it bluntly really hasn't been necessary.  I think for once I actually dealt with it alot better than ever before and feel confident that in future when these sort of conflicts arise I will continue to handle them with more and more ease.  And this is where the 12WBT and my Perth Crew family has helped me to realise I just don't need it anymore and I actually now have better confidence in myself that allows me to act better when put into these conflicts.
And so to this morning....
I was on the treadmill completing a 7km run and I really don't enjoy the tready as much as running outside as I tend to get bored.  So at about 2km in I was completely bored already and thinking about the week that had just passed.  I started thinking about my husband and how great he has been and how much I love him which of course led me to thinking about our beautiful son and just how much I adore him. 
It's funny though because even though I have been with my husband for more than 5 years now and a mum for more than 2 I had still been looking for something, it used to leave me feeling bewildered as I had everything I always wanted, I was happy and I had my family.  So why the feeling of needing more??
Today, in mid stride sweat dripping off my nose I realised I didn't anymore.  The feeling was gone!  And I finally realised what was missing....ME! 
Whenever I'm doing a hard training session I think, I can't wait till the round is over and I'm at goal and don't have to do this anymore but now I know it's not true.  Yes I might ease up a bit because like most things I throw myself in full throttle and to keep up this pace all the time just isn't sustainable for me.  But even during the mid round break I missed exercise if I didn't do something most days.  I was so active during highschool and have been on and off throughout my life but have never looked after everything all at once, now that I am doing that I have finally found peace, finally found true happiness.  I know that this is it for me, I am on my way to a healthy weight (I'm about 3.5kg off a healthy BMI now) and I won't ever go back.
Now all the pieces are in the puzzle and I just can't take the smile off my face.  I cannot ever remember feeling so calm (with a little bit of buggered and ready for a rest day thrown in) in my life to date.  Today I decided to take myself out to buy some lunch and have just finished what was some of the freshest most delicious Sushi I've eaten.  Seems the universe is looking after me, the sun is finally shining and life is going to be fun from here on in!

Unexpected Celebrations

This week has been nothing short of amazing for me.  Last weekend saw me heading off to Perth to celebrate the last round of the 12wbt and finally able to meet with so many of the Perth Crew girls (and guy) that I so regularly chat to on facebook.
I left for Perth early Saturday so I could hit some of the shops with a friend I have met through the program, Emma.  It was a whirlwind of a shopping expedition for me as I was led to a change room and then bombarded with gorgeous dress after gorgeous dress.  For once instead of finding nothing that looked any good I actually found alot that would have passed and in a combination of size 10 & 12 (!!!!!), but we were after something with some wow factor.  It took only two shops and I don't know how many dresses but we eventually found it!  And I must admit I was absolutely stoked at how I looked...I honestly cannot remember EVER having felt so good.
Then our other down south training buddy Bree arrived and we were off to find an outfit for her.  I don't know whose outfit I was more excited about, I literally jumped up and down when Bree came out of the changeroom I was so excited by how fantastic she looked!
So that night all glammed up and ready for some fun we headed off to dinner - a little difficult for me as I really was struggling to walk with the height of my heels!  I couldn't believe how many of us were there and it was brilliant being able to give a hug to and chat with so many of the girls that I have supported and been supported by over the past few months.  I was having a fantastic night and couldn't stop smiling.
It wasn't until the very end of the evening that all the excitement really happened though!  After dinner we were presented with a slideshow set to music that one of the ladies had set up.  It was amazing, no doubt a miniature version of what I can expect at the Sydney finale but it showed all our achievements for the year and really captured everything the Perth Crew is about.  I was loving it albeit feeling a little bit emotional watching all the unbelievable stories being flashed up on the screen.  Then it came to the winners for the round for our Perth Crew.  I remember thinking "oh wow how cool is this", I had no idea this had all been organised by the girls.  When 3rd place flashed up - Sarah Fontana - I remember clapping and being excited that Sarah got it as she is lovely and also thinking oh bugger she only just beat me for 3rd, her weight loss was 15.5kg, mine was 15.4kg, I wasn't thinking percentages.  Next came Lian Everett in 2nd and I was super happy again as I had through the round completed a few "chellenges" that Lian had put out there and also emailed her when we were going through a bit of a rough patch together off round.  Lian had been having a particularly crappy time of it and it was great to see something good happening to her to make up for it a little.
So then we are all sitting there with the winner to come, I think the slide said and the winner is....and it just sat there......and it seemed to sit there forever (great suspense Andrea) and I turned to Sheena beside me and said "who is it" just as the pictures revealed who it was.......ME!!!!  I was absolutely gobsmacked to say the least!  After just watching a presentation of all these amazing people and sitting there amongst them and now hearing them all cheering and clapping I was blown away.  I laughed, I nearly cried and then I sat there shaking.  It was awesome!
It's a really strange feeling to have won though.  Everybody was saying congratulations and it was lovely but in some ways it was embarrassing, I mean here were ladies who I admired for all that they have done congratulating me!  Then the next minute I was proud as punch, because it meant I had done what I set out to do and that was kick arse as much as I could, in making sure I did all I could to be my best version I had managed to actually come first amongst my crew.  It may not have been the big finale in Brisbane but here I was in a room full of people that helped me get where I was and being given a huge pat on the back, I think it was all the more special because I was with the Perth Crew.
Now that it's a few days later I think I am still spinning out.  I've had so many positive messages from everyone and I'd be lying if I didn't admit it has given me even more drive and ambition for this round.  If I can be right up there amongst the Perth Crew in losing my weight then why am I doubting I can reach my goal weight this round? 
Now there is no room for doubt, now all there is in my mind is determination.  I will be at goal come final weigh in, just watch me!!!!

G'Day

So I decided I would give this blogging thing a go.  I'm intending that it be about my weight loss journey as that is what seems to be dominating my life at the moment - obviously next to my beautiful toddler Bryce - but who knows where it may end up....maybe 3 posts in and nothing haha!

I guess to begin with I should tell you a bit about myself.  I am a 33 year old wife and mum to a 2 year old who has had issues around her weight for most of her life...yada yada yada.......it's the exact same story as so many before me.  The silliest thing is that my issues began in high school and when I look back now wow what I wouldn't give to have that body.  Over the years I have tried Gloria Marshall, Weight Watchers (with some success), and so many other diets and fitness regimes I couldn't even keep track but none have really worked that well.  Mainly because I have never really combined ALL the things I knew about how to lose weight, I'd eat well and exercise but then the whole reward system would kick in and I'd eat the wrong types of food or overindulge because I'd earnt it.  Right?  Wrong! 

I purchased Michelle Bridges Crunchtime books a little while after my son was born and began following her workouts and diet plan, I started losing weight and felt fantastic.  But then we went on holiday and sold our house and lived with relatives for a month and all my planning and organising went totally out the window and yet again I started putting the weight back on.

I so badly wanted to set the right example for my son and I knew something had to give, I NEEDED and WANTED to change.   My number one excuse for not doing anything was that I couldn't afford it, I talked to my husband and we decided that our health was worth it and I signed up for my first round of Michelle Bridges online 12WBT in May of this year.  I lost 15.4kg and my husband lost 12kg.  It was the best money I've ever spent.

Today is day 3 of my second round and I am giving it my utmost to get to goal by the end.  I put on about 1kg during the time between rounds so I have my work cut out for me, I need to lose 15.5kg to get there.  But I'm determined that I will do it and as the saying goes "I'm not giving up without a damn good fight". 

I'm not really certain exactly what it is that makes this program work for me but I know that it does and it will and that I won't go back.  I have rediscovered how much I enjoyed keeping fit, I am running again and I had written myself off as being past it.  Yesterday I purchased my first running magazine and as of Monday have begun training for a half marathon in conjunction with the 12WBT's exercise program.  I feel happy and alive for the first time in a long time and thats how I know this is a forever change for me.  I also have a network of inspirational women in the 12WBT Perth Crew that I know I can turn to for whatever it may be that I need, a shoulder, advice, a pat on the back or just a good old kick up the arse!  I have met some fantastic people through this program and I know that in itself has been instrumental in my success so far.

So this blog will be full of my ramblings as I take myself down to my goal weight.  I'm hoping that it will just be another tool to help me get there!
Thanks for reading
XX